Who said success has to look like ‘that’?
I was having a chat yesterday with someone I know well. She’s been at her company for 27 years, does well, has a great list of clients…
Her 50th birthday is around the corner, and we were in a deep discussion about what she wanted – not as a birthday present, but in life.
She thought pensively, and gave her best attempt at sharing what she was longing for:
“Accountability”, she said.
I asked her, “How so?”
She shared that she feels as though she goes to work every day and does a good/great job, and comes home, and has lofty ideas about what she’d like to experience more of in her life – to be truly fulfilled – philanthropy, contributing to women in some way, fun experiences, a focus on her own wellness…
She shared – her words not mine – that she felt as though she goes through the motions every day, and on the weekends, she wants to do all these exciting things, and yet, she doesn’t. She wished she was more in tune with holding herself accountable.
So, we dug in a bit. We uncovered something in the process - and this is a topic I hear from many people!
So often we want something new in our life – could be anything, but the high-level goal is a feeling of excitement, adventure, joy, growth, giving-back, wellness, fulfillment – meaningful results.
And yet, we stop short of starting because we are so overwhelmed at the thought of the BIG GOAL. We aren’t quite sure HOW to get to the BIG GOAL. It’s important to us, and yet, we are afraid to fall = fail. So, we don’t even start.
Holding ourselves accountable to the BIG GOAL can be daunting.
So, what about the SMALL GOAL? What’s a baby step you can take today in the direction of the BIG GOAL. A baby step.
For this woman it was, “I can look up organizations on the Internet.” Great!
I said, “How long will you spend on that?” And she said, “30 minutes on Saturday.” Great!
Then we turned to the topic of consistency and habit building. I asked, “Will you take one baby step in the direction of your goal every day for 1 month?” Hesitation. We dug a little deeper.
She then said, “Um, but I don’t think I can commit 30 minutes on Sunday.”
I replied, “Who said you had to do 30 minutes?”
This was a BIG MOMENT for this woman. What she realized is she gets to set the rules. She gets to have AGENCY over the measured baby step. Because she did 30 minutes on Saturday does not dictate the choice she makes on Sunday, or any other day.
The only rule if she wants to achieve something new and fulfilling, to build a new habit, is she gets to be consistent until it becomes something natural.
So, she committed to 5 minutes on Sunday, and she officially committed to this 30-day consistency challenge, holding herself accountable to ONE BABY STEP each day. She gets to choose the step.
I am so excited for her! I’ve seen this so many times. Building new HABITS around ACCOUNTABILITY can be daunting at first. If the goal is important enough and we own and reframe our storylines about what it means to make progress, 30 days from now our entire world can be transformed!
KEY TAKE-AWAYS:
1. Reframe Success: challenge conventional notions of success, by questioning adherence to cultural expectations and consider what personal fulfillment look like to you.
2. Overcome Overwhelm: we often get overwhelmed by big goals, leading to inaction. Break down goals into smaller, manageable steps to overcome fear of failure.
3. Empowerment & Accountability: by setting one's own incremental targets, individuals have agency and accountability for their fulfillment and habit-building. Consistency has more value than quantity.
