The Most Important Measurement of Success

𝗟𝗮𝘀𝘁 𝗙𝗿𝗶𝗱𝗮𝘆 𝗜 𝗿𝗲𝗰𝗲𝗶𝘃𝗲𝗱 𝗮 𝗺𝗲𝘀𝘀𝗮𝗴𝗲 𝘁𝗵𝗮𝘁 𝗯𝗿𝗼𝘂𝗴𝗵𝘁 𝗲𝘃𝗲𝗿𝘆𝘁𝗵𝗶𝗻𝗴—𝗹𝗶𝗳𝗲, 𝘄𝗼𝗿𝗸, 𝗹𝗲𝗴𝗮𝗰𝘆—𝗶𝗻𝘁𝗼 𝘀𝗵𝗮𝗿𝗽 𝗳𝗼𝗰𝘂𝘀. 𝗜𝘁 𝘂𝗻𝗱𝗲𝗿𝘀𝗰𝗼𝗿𝗲𝗱 𝘄𝗵𝗮𝘁 𝗺𝗮𝘆 𝗯𝗲 𝘁𝗵𝗲 𝗺𝗼𝘀𝘁 𝗶𝗺𝗽𝗼𝗿𝘁𝗮𝗻𝘁 𝗸𝗲𝘆 𝘁𝗼 𝘀𝘂𝗰𝗰𝗲𝘀𝘀—𝗶𝗻 𝗯𝘂𝘀𝗶𝗻𝗲𝘀𝘀 𝗮𝗻𝗱 𝗶𝗻 𝗹𝗶𝗳𝗲.

I got a DM from an old friend/colleague. We worked together in a couple of companies 20+ years ago. At the first, I knew him as a demanding, in-your-face, brash enterprise seller from the New York Metro region—killing his quota and taking names.

Then he joined the large competitor where I’d already landed. It felt like an old friend joining forces. It was good to have him as part of the tight-knit team as we built what would become a multi-billion-dollar business.

We hadn’t spoken in years, but on Friday he messaged saying he wanted to talk. I didn’t know what it was about, but I’m always ready to catch up with friends from back in the day.

After a few early appointments, I saw he’d left a voicemail:

 “𝙄 𝙝𝙖𝙫𝙚 𝙨𝙤𝙢𝙚 𝙗𝙖𝙙 𝙣𝙚𝙬𝙨, 𝙖𝙣𝙙 𝙄 𝙬𝙖𝙣𝙩 𝙩𝙤 𝙩𝙝𝙖𝙣𝙠 𝙮𝙤𝙪. 𝘾𝙖𝙡𝙡 𝙢𝙚 𝙗𝙖𝙘𝙠.”

I got home to my office and called. He told me he’d been diagnosed with Stage 4 pancreatic cancer. He had finished initial chemo and was starting another round focused on his liver.

He shared that his priorities now are his family, palliative care, and peace. He talked about his kids—18, 23, and 36—and how proud he is of each.

He’s been speaking with his priest to find peace in the process. He was in good spirits, and said he wanted to reach out to the people who had influenced his life. I was one of them.

He told me I’d always been helpful, kind, courteous, and respectful.

As a former product marketer, I suppose that balance of “helpful” and “respectful” describes the bonds I built with my partners in sales and product.

There’s so much emotion in hearing that I made a difference in someone’s life—especially when they are facing the hardest of times.

As I sit here reflecting on what REALLY matters...

It’s not about how many times we killed the quota, looked good to our bosses, or jammed 10 extra emails into the day.

It’s about how we care for people—the lasting connections we make along the way. I’ve learned this lesson many times, and this call underscored it again.

It’s about building enough trust and respect in each other’s humanity… so that even in life’s darkest moments, someone you once worked alongside might reach out and include you in the small group of people who shaped them.

I am deeply, deeply moved.

𝗣𝗿𝗮𝘆𝗲𝗿𝘀 𝗯𝗲 𝘄𝗶𝘁𝗵 𝘆𝗼𝘂 𝗮𝗻𝗱 𝘆𝗼𝘂𝗿 𝗳𝗮𝗺𝗶𝗹𝘆 𝘁𝗵𝗿𝗼𝘂𝗴𝗵 𝘁𝗵𝗶𝘀 𝗷𝗼𝘂𝗿𝗻𝗲𝘆, 𝗼𝗹𝗱 𝗳𝗿𝗶𝗲𝗻𝗱. 𝗜’𝘃𝗲 𝗴𝗼𝘁 𝘆𝗼𝘂𝗿 𝗯𝗮𝗰𝗸.

And if you don’t think this applies to success in business, I encourage you to reconsider.