Stop Reacting. Start Leading. 5 Steps to Higher Impact

Ever been in an intense meeting and someone - maybe the person who called it - says something you completely disagree with… and you just TROUNCE? (i.e., you do not pass GO, you do not collect $200 - you just react.)

I have. I’ve been on both ends of that scenario, and somehow it never ends with a group of empowered people, proud to march in the same direction toward the same goal.

In the last few years, I’ve reflected on what those moments felt like for me and for the other people in the room. I still have visual images imprinted in my mind - cringey in some cases, lessons learned from many.

A couple of weeks ago I stood in front of a room of emerging leaders, facilitating a session about Workplace Wellness & Work-Life Harmony (notice I did not use the word “balance”), and I offered a 5-step tool for everyone to write down and take home.

I suggested they put these five steps somewhere visible during the workday - and look at them daily to notice where they can be put into practice.

This is useful to all of us - no matter your title or level - because we move so fast that we often fail to slow our roll enough to see beyond our first impression.

These five steps offer a purposeful, intentional way to create higher-impact outcomes every time you typically react, walk away, and then think:

•        “If only I had been brave enough to say no.”

•        “If only I had articulated that more effectively.”

•        “If only I had been less abrasive.”

•        “If only I had been a better listener.”

•        “If only I had understood the bigger picture,” or

•        “Maybe that person’s real intention was different than what I reacted to…”

This takes practice, but the shift in results can be exponentially greater for moving business, teams, and relationships forward. And if you practice consistently enough to make it a habit? You’ll start walking through these steps without anyone even noticing you’re doing it.

5 Powerful Steps

1. Pause (to reset - even one deep breath can be valuable)

2. Notice (what’s really going on - inside you and around you)

3. Frame or Reframe (into a positive; there’s always a constructive reframe around what matters)

4. Choose (the direction that creates the highest impact for the whole)

5. Move (take action)

Ideas are nice. AND - outcomes are better. Here’s what changed when teams and individuals built new habits using these five steps:

• Roadmap debate → pause, notice, reframe the feature argument to customer outcomes → scope −35%, launch +6 weeks sooner, NPS +10.

• Tough 1:1 feedback → pause, notice, reframe; manager chose to lead with curiosity instead of blame or defensiveness: (asked herself, “What’s underneath the pushback? What matters most?”) → quarterly trust score +18%; “intent to leave” -22% on the team.

• Two teammates at odds → pause, notice triggers, reframe to the shared goal, choose a plan; create a 1-page working agreement (review SLA, meeting norms, decision rules) → review turnaround 48h → 24h (-50%), on-time handoffs 62% → 88% (+26 pts), manager escalations 4/mo → 0 in 30 days.

Each step is important. Too often we skip 1-4.

When teams run these steps for a month, meetings shrink, decisions speed up, and trust scores climb. And at the personal level, you stop living in reaction mode. You make cleaner choices, protect your energy, and end the day with more focus and fulfillment (and less rework).

Try it for 30 days: track one team KPI and one personal KPI. If the needle doesn’t move, schedule a 30-minute conversation HERE, and I’ll help you diagnose why.