From Boardroom to Exam Room, We’ve Been Calling It “Soft.” That’s Costing Us

Alison Conigliaro-Hubbard
14 hours ago
3 min read

Why empathy may be the most strategic advantage in the age of AI.

I’m currently participating in a program with Harvard Medical School, and yesterday I read an article by Dr. Robert Brooks that stopped me in my tracks. It wasn’t a topic that was new to me (or to you) – just presented in a way that connected differently. And perhaps also, because of a few recent experiences I’ve had as both customer and patient.

It got me thinking (again) about a topic many in business either label as “soft” - or never stop long enough to consider its impact:

Empathy.

Here is a link to the article in case you're interested.

Somewhere along the way, empathy became synonymous with weakness. As if caring costs too much time. As if seeing and understanding someone else's perspective dilutes performance.

I call BS.

Empathy is not softness. It’s intelligence applied to human systems. (And unlike knowledge, it’s uniquely human. Like you.)

And if you think it doesn’t impact revenue, retention, and reputation - you’re moving so fast that you’re just not paying attention. You’re missing what's important in your race to…nowhere really that important.

Leadership Is the External Expression of Your Internal Ecology

I’ve been saying this more and more:

Leadership is the external expression of your internal ecology.

How you eat.

How you sleep.

How you regulate stress.

How you think.

How you move.

How you recover.

How you connect.

All of it becomes how you lead.

If your internal ecology is rushed, transactional, metrics-only, your leadership will feel that way to others.

One of the clearest signals of a healthy internal ecology?

Empathy.

Not performative empathy. Not “I hear you” while scanning your inbox. (And yes, we are all guilty of that at times.)

Real presence.

Healthcare Is Showing Us the Cost

I have a senior physician client who saw 28 patients in 8 hours yesterday.

Twenty-eight.

In many systems today, physicians are pressured to move faster, see more patients, generate more revenue. I understand the operational realities.

But what happens when the clock becomes the primary leader?

Empathy gets squeezed out.

And here are 2 examples I’m personally experiencing in real time:

I’m walking away from a concierge doctor I once trusted. Not because they lack credentials. But because I no longer feel seen, and when I need a doctor – you can bet it’s important.

I’m also walking away from a business I used to trust and recommend to everyone as the very best. Growth outpaced care (for the product and the customer). Scale replaced connection.

Both won’t just lose my revenue. They’ll receive public reviews reflecting exactly why. Peer reviews go a long way - for better or worse.

Empathy has a direct line to the bottom line and long-term customer/patient satisfaction rates.

AI Is Raising the Stakes

AI can draft your emails, triage patient messages, write sales follow-ups, and respond to customers in seconds.

Speed? Of course, it’s incredible. Efficiency? Absolutely powerful.

But AI does not feel.

Imagine a patient receiving a perfectly accurate, AI-generated message about a concerning lab result. Polished. Fast.

But sterile. Technical terms average humans don’t understand.

No acknowledgment of fear for the person reading it.

No human reassurance.

No sense that someone understands what this moment feels like. (Trust me - if you don't know the impact of reading a PET scan before a doctor gets to you, I don't want you to.)

Over time, that erosion of trust matters.

In a world becoming more automated, empathy becomes more valuable - not less.

(Side note: do NOT Google those technical terms and think the bot knows. Machine-learning can be wrong.)

Empathy Is a Skill. Not a Personality Trait.

Some leaders are naturally attuned. Others are wired for data, systems, execution.

That’s fine.

Empathy is not a personality type. It’s a practice.

It looks like:

Asking one more open-ended question.
Listening to understand instead of listening to reply.
Getting curious about someone else's opinion or perspective. You don't have to agree.
Considering how a decision or new idea could land - not just how it will perform.
Remembering that behind every metric is a human being.